Day and Night. Yin and Yang. Men and Women.
Pairs of opposites need each other. Take one out, and the balance is thrown off and everything collapses into chaos.
Men and women are not equal. Men and women are radically different beasts. The thing is, they need each other, and when the balance of power tips too much one way or the other, human interactions become thrown into chaos.
Men and women have different gifts through which they can influence and alter reality to suit their needs. These gifts are unique to each sex, and can never quite be replicated by the other, save for rare and remarkable individuals.
To men went the gift of violence, to use physical force to control and shape the world in whatever image we so please.
To women went the gift of sexuality, to be desired and to entice men to do their bidding.
Both can be dangerous in the wrong hands. Both have been the death of many countless individuals over the years. Both have their respective burdens associated with them. And both need to be correctly sublimated in order to keep civilization functional.
There are few things feminists love to demonize more than the idea of male violence. What they overlook is that male violence (and oftentimes, the mere threat of it) is what make civilized society possible. While I disagree with much of what Hobbes had to say, I must agree with him that the threat of state violence is a major factor that keeps many in line.
To put this in less abstract terms, imagine what would happen if every police officer simultaneously swore a vow of pacifism and refused to arrest, subdue, or otherwise confront criminals and lawbreakers. Will harsh words and stern reprimands stop a mugger, or a violent gang? I think not.
What if soldiers just put down their weapons and stopped fighting? I do not mean this in the style of a peace and love hippy utopia here. I mean just the soldiers in your country. All the soldiers in whatever countries might hate yours are just as armed and violent and dangerous as hostile towards you as ever. Does that make you feel safe and secure when you are alone in your bed at night?
Just for fun, one more example, this time on a much more micro level. Who is more likely to get picked upon in school, the skinny nerd wearing ill-fitting clothing or the kid with a dangerous look in his eye and a few years of Muay Thai under his belt? Like it or not, the threat of violence is a powerful deterrent against uncivilized behavior.
It is through that this enforcement of civilized, proper behavior that male violence, instead of undermining society, allows it to prosper and develop. However, it is imperative that male violence be channeled towards this end. Much like fire, violence can allow for life, warmth, and survival, but it can also be destructive, and reduce all it touches to ash. When male violence gets out of control, society is punished for it. Youth riots, gang membership, and vandalism are all signs that society is inefficiently sublimating the male need for violence. More drastic indicators include rampant crime and the joining of terrorist organizations. Warfare among rival groups can break out.
Women especially are affected by this. When male violence is unleashed, the environment becomes more dangerous for everyone in it. In their drive to be protected, women will often seek the patronage of dangerous, powerful men. One strategy for this is to use their sexuality as a bargaining chip, to be traded for safety and security. The power of female sexuality is unleashed, and both powers become unbalanced…
What is the power of female sexuality? It is indirect. It is subtle. It does not burn cars, smash windows, or kill. Instead, it works its power by seeking to control men, by placing them under its spell and getting them to do the bidding of the woman in question. It is the ability to hold men under a woman’s sway and get them to engage in violence on their behalf. Men will always chase women, and do whatever it takes to get them. When women thus reward men for doing things like creating value for society or looking after the neighborhood, men feel encouraged to engage in behaviors that are good for their communities as a whole. When women reward men for being good fathers and raising their children properly, men do these things and the next generations benefits, By offering up the promise of sex as a reward for behavior that benefits society, women thus convince men to control their violence and build civilization. The powers are in balance, and everyone benefits.
And what happens when this power goes astray? Well, in short, the few most highly attractive men monopolize the majority of the females. In sequestered, minimal-consequence environments like colleges, this dynamic is relatively harmless. Low status men won’t get laid, but otherwise nothing too bad happens. However, out in the real world, this dynamic has consequences. Over the years, many men are out-competed in the sexual marketplace altogether. In an environment swamped with porn, sex toys, and other adult entertainment, these sexual rejects can have their needs met. However, this is not true of most places in the world. So what happens when you have bunch of men with outlet for sexual release? Some get desperate, and in their desperation, they turn to their own power to get what they want. Male violence is unleashed.
And as to what happens when both powers swing out of control? The best example I can think of is the modern urban ghetto, in which gang violence is prevalent, illegitimate children are everywhere, and society itself is run down, degenerate, and barely civilized. This is not to say that socio-sexual dynamics are the sole cause and the core issue here (it is a mere drop in the bucket), but I still think this illustrates my point nicely.
Balance is needed. If one factor begins to falter, then the perturbations can be felt all throughout society. The chain of events that gets set in motion oftentimes leads to a disruption in the reciprocal dynamic, If both factors are set loose from their proper bounds, then societal collapse is imminent, and civilization becomes impossible.
So if I were to build a society meant to last, what would I do? First off, I would encourage young men to develop and refine their various predilections towards violence by channeling them to ends that are productive for my society as a whole. This could mean nudging them towards the military, having them compete in athletics from a young age, or training them in martial arts and teaching them to harness the power of their innate aggression and direct it towards accomplishing productive and beneficial goals (i.e. building a business, pursuing victory in competitive endeavors…etc). I would seek to impress upon young men the responsibilities and burdens that came with the capability to do great violence. Instead of sedating them with video games and violent movies, I would seek to teach young men that having the capacity to do violence is a part of being a man, and strive to help them understand and properly use this power, instead of fearing it or denying it.
I would also strive to inculcate young women about the importance of sexual control. Just as men must control their innate urge to do violence, women must control their innate urge to offer up their sexuality to those individuals who, though perhaps dominant, charismatic, and sexy, do not produce anything or benefit society as a whole. Unappealing as this truth may seem to some, a woman’s sexuality ought to be a reward for a man engaging in socially approved behavior. This is not to deny her the agency of choosing her own mate, but a reminder that listening to her mother and grandmother when they warn her against the dangers of sleeping around and wasting away her most beautiful years (when her sexual power is at its height) is actually is a prudent course of action.
The woman chooses the best man she can, one who can provide for her and protect her. In doing so, she sublimates her sexuality for the purpose of encouraging men to control their innate violence and create value for society at large, so that they may have a chance to win her over. Man and woman come together, controlling their respective powers and putting them towards proper ends. Played out over an entire population, a stable society is then built, one that can be prosperous and secure.
This isn’t anything new, grandiose, or monumental. All traditional societies have this concept in some form or another. Whenever anyone claims that “marriage is the bedrock of civilization”, it is this dynamic they are referring to. However, in current times, it seems that this truth has been forgotten (just look at the current numbers of single moms and gang members). Whether it is by ignorance or denial, a rejection of this arrangement can only lead to ruin. If current patterns continue, the twin fires might very well spiral further and further out of control.
I’m not sure what will happen if that happens to be the case, but I don’t think we’re going to like it.
SIC VITA EST