The Adventures of David Brin: Part Two

Amos and Gromar is having a bit of fun at the writer David Brin’s expense, kicking off an “Exquisite Corpse“-style story detailing Brin’s adventures struggling against the malevolent forces of the Dark Enlightenment.   I’ve always loved this sort of thing, and so I jumped in with a quick comment detailing what happened next.  I reprint it here below for fun and amusement.  If you care to write the next part of the story, I highly encourage you to do so in the comments.

Part Two (click here to read Part One)

“…grabbed hold of the chandelier, swinging himself across the room and landing with a (less-than-graceful) “THUMP” in front of the fireplace. Grasping a poker, he turned round and decried at the intrusive fop “Turn and draw, foul vagrant! I shall best you at your own little game!”

Yet the Aristocrat remained unperturbed. “Oh, I get it. You want to fence. How quaint.”

Brin pressed on, hoping to end this shenanigan quickly “It would not be noble of you to ignore my request for a duel!”

Yet still, the Aristocrat refused to play Brin’s game “It’s a good thing not all you naughty peasants are this way. You’d be even more insufferable than you already are. No, I come to you tonight with neither sabre nor rapier. We adherents of the Dark Lord have other means at our disposal for combat…”

Tentacles pulsating with dark magic erupted from the floor, seemingly sapping all the light from the room as they twisted and tangled in the firelight. Chills ran up Brin’s spine, but the thought of how the Enlightenment had enabled so many individuals to watch slightly less menacing tentacles penetrate young, animated Japanese schoolgirls gave him courage.

“NO” he cried, “I am a wielder of the Flame of the Enlightenment! I shall not let you defile and enslave these poor tentacles with your powers of Hierarchy and Tradition! All shall be free and enlightened before me, even those non-human entities that are nonetheless deserving of our respect and tolerance!”

It was the last thing he remembered before the tentacles wrapped around him and his consciousness faded away…”


Update: Continue on to Part Three here


7 thoughts on “The Adventures of David Brin: Part Two

  1. House Perspicacity 01/16/2014 / 7:04 PM

    Hilarious, I have decided to write the next installment. Enjoy my contribution and pass it on!

    Part Three

    “…Brin awoke thrashing, clawing from side to side as if to catch the Aristcrat mocking him overhead. His ears rang violently as if some tentacled mass of darkness had squeezed him tight. Recollecting his collapse to Dark Enlightenment sorcery, Brin, the Postamn of the Progressive Future, leapt to his feet. He stood amidst a room of regal, elegant furniture, the likes of which had surely graced many a monarch in the medieval past.

    “I must escape!” he cried to himself, lest the monarchist taint of ages past creep into his thoroughly and completely enlightened mind. He had been taken to the heart of the Aristocratic dwelling itself!

    He sank to the floor, as if to prostrate himself to the mighty spirit-god-machine that was the singularity to come, whispering, “Oh mighty and physics bending Singularity, Lord of Entropy, Master of Science and Calculations, Future Overmind of the Human Race, grant me your blessing and ungraspable intelligence.”

    Suddenly, a tremor passed through the beautifully finished wood flooring. He could feel it, a reactionary darkness phasing through the floors, the walls, the ceiling, like a noxious gas.

    That foulsome yet obviously and brilliantly masculine Aristocrat’s voice pass through him, propelled by Dark reactionary magic.

    “So you have awoken, mighty Brin. Only a noble futurist, wise in the ways of Progress and Equality, could break our dark hierarchical hold so quickly. Mighty are you Brin, Awake and Asleep.”

    Brin lept to his feet, calling forth the powers of his Singularity’s minions.

    “Equality, Feminism, Postmodernism, Hear My Call! I, the wielder of the Flame of Enlightenmant seek your relative truth denying power to crush this Aristocrat in the most tolerant way possible!”

    Casting aside the intricately designed oak door in front him, he lept through the Dark Enlightenment Sorcery enshrouding it only to find…”

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