Friday Night Fright

(Trigger Warning: I just got back from bar-hopping with my brother and right now I think I’m far cleverer than I actually am)

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I am Sam.  Sam I am.

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
the liberal plan?

I do not like it, Sam-I-am.
I do not like
the liberal plan.

Would you like it
here or there?

I would not like it
here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.

I do not like
the liberal plan.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Do you like their plan for gays?
It’s all the rage with folks these days.

I do not care about the gays.
I don’t support their r-type ways.
I don’t believe that “homophobia”
holds us back from gay utopia.
I do not like
the liberal plan.
I do not like it,
Sam-I-am.

Do you care about the trans?
Helping them should be in your plans.

None of my plans
Consider the trans.
I’ll take no stand
Nor lift my hands.
I will not help them
in their cause.
I will not help them make new laws.
I do not like the liberal plan.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

I know now why these folks you diss.
Check your privilege.  Here it is!

I’d rather drink lukewarm horse piss.

You must do it. You will see.
Checking your privilege will set you free.

I do not subscribe to that theory,
It’s unfinished philosophy.

Privilege is inheritance
that whites pass on to descendents,
But only in western countries
(Other places do as they please).
The notion’s not unjustified
(a truth that many wish to hide).
I do not like the liberal plan.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Racist! Sexist!
Fascist! Bigot!
Shut your mouth you hateful idiot!

Are those words meant to cause me shame?
That approach is pretty lame.

Feelings do not govern my mind.
I’ve left such childish ways behind.
Emotions make the mind go numb
And when that happens you act dumb.
I don’t wish to suffer that fate,
In your case though, we’re far too late.
I do not like the liberal plan.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

But what about diversity?
You deny it’s good for you and me?

There’s little benefit, you see.

That’s a sign of a xenophobe.

You have malfunctioning frontal lobes.
Intra-group diversity
Is wonderful for you and me,
While inter-group diversity
Makes you more like those in your thede.
So fuck your false “diversity”!
I’d rather think so uniquely,
In a manner that’s wholly me.
I do not like
the liberal plan.
I do not like it,
Sam-I-am.

Why don’t you care about oppression?

I’m more concerned with black aggression.

You’re talking like an evil racist.

All this name-calling you should desist.
Your ability to guilt me does not exist.

This is your problem, you should know:
You’ve no substance, you’re only show.
You care about contrived issues,
But logic? No, that you eschew.
You do not care for social norms,
You bash them from your college dorms.
You take for granted civilization
And conclude it an abomination.
You can’t maintain society.
You know nothing of hard work nor honesty.

I do not like the liberal plan!
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

You do not like it. So you say.
Try it! Try it! And one day,
You’ll be liberal too, I say!

Sam! I know all your arguments,
And they leave me malcontent.

You know what I like? Neoreaction!
I think I’ll sign up with this faction.
I like their wisdom and their stoats,
I like their insights and their quotes!

I think they are a brilliant bunch,
I read their blog posts during brunch.
They weigh ideas so expertly,
Their writings are so good, you see!

Unlike leftists, they’re not castrati.
Unlike leftists, they are not haughty.
Though some may smoke more than they should,
Their presence is a force for good.
The might of their cognitive force,
Blows out of the water mainstream discourse.

To their ideas
I feel attraction.
I do so like
Neoreaction!

SCRIBIMUS INDOCTI DOCTIQUE POEMETA PASSIA

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6 thoughts on “Friday Night Fright

  1. Tall Young Man 05/31/2014 / 9:04 AM

    haha good one.

  2. Brian Johnson 06/07/2014 / 12:34 AM

    Oh bane of the muse, the verses you choose
    to write must take effort so gallant
    Leave off writing verse, for your efforts grow worse
    Inspirations no changeling for talent.

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